In the Land of the Lovelies

Where to find me...

2010-06-03T13:15:00.004-04:00

I was hoping to have a new website up and running long before now,
but I'm not quite there.
I'm not really here either ;-)

But you can find me here & here.

Thanks for stopping by.xo

December Sounds:: Duet 2009*

2009-12-23T22:18:00.005-05:00

Wishing you & yours peace, love and joy this holiday season.xo

December Views:: The Four*

2009-12-16T10:40:00.005-05:00

"No my friend, darkness is not everywhere, for here and there I find faces illuminated from within;

paper lanterns among the dark trees." ~ Carol Borges~

See all *FOUR*

December Views:: 2009*

2009-12-14T15:56:00.003-05:00

December Views:: 2009*

2009-12-11T23:38:00.003-05:00

December Views:: 2009*

2009-12-08T21:21:00.010-05:00

I'm a little worried you may have forgotten me...

a little scared that the silence resulting from my absence could prove deafening.

But I'm determined to bump my december views from last year off this main page.

I'm determined to pick up momentum for the coming year....

because I've missed you and this space very much indeed.xox

Love and blessings,

Kirsten Michelle*

Daily Practice

2009-08-26T09:53:00.003-04:00

"The real essence of art turned out to be not something high up and far off ~ it was right inside my ordinary daily self ~ if a musician wants to become a finer artist, he must first become a finer person."

Shinichi Suzuki

Spring Equinox:: Emerging

2009-03-20T14:10:00.012-04:00

Where are you at, on this first day of Spring?

January Days

2009-01-28T20:10:00.005-05:00

I really shouldn't be surprised that this New Year is unfolding in ways I never expected. It's been a difficult month, but as it comes to a close there is great clarity. I have much to share and look forward to doing so.

In the meantime, I'm excited to be a part a brand new collaboration over at The Four and was beyond flattered when the lovely gem asked me to participate in her beautiful inHERview project. I hope you'll link over and visit with me and other talented lovelies in these spaces...I'll be back in this one very, very soon!

New Year:: Day 8

2009-01-08T17:10:00.006-05:00

Well, here we are Day 8 of this brand New Year.
There must be something about the 8th day, the last time I posted it was the 8th day of December.
Hmmmm, interesting?

Yes, eight days in and I still don't have a WORD or a THEME or A LIST...
and believe me the gremlins are just lovin' that!!!!!!!
Oh yes, they've been nattering on quite incessantly these past few days...
***
"What NO WORD! NO THEME! NO DIRECTION!"
"Still thinking instead of doing, are we???"
"Floundering already???"
"Tick~Tock. Tick~Tock. Tick~Tock"
"What a waste of a perfectly good year."
"So much for that clean slate."
"So much for getting things done."
"Tick~ Tock. Tick~Tock. Tick~Tock."
"You still haven't sent that card to *** or that gift to *** or ordered those prints for *** ...
weren't you going to do all that by the end of last week!!!"
"Oh well dear, there's always next year to shine"
"What still NO WORD! NO THEME! NO LEAPING!!!!!"
"Tick~tock. Tick~tock. Tick~tock."

***
Lucky for me Day 8 coincided with a timely Love Thursday post by the ever~inspiring Jen Lemen entitled Making Peace with a Noisy Gremlin ;-) It comes with a virtual big hug, a healthy dose of hope and suggestions for those of us looking for a little bit of quiet from the nattering!
Tonight, I'm giving this suggestion a try::
Promise yourself you will sit in your chair and make something, no matter how ugly or imperfect or strange or far from your far flung dreams.
It's true, I may not have a word, or a theme or list...
but I've got card stock and an alphabet of letters THAT SPARKLE.
Tonight, I'm going to make something and mail it off with a kiss...

and before I head to bed I'll hit publish on this post.

We'll just see what those gremlins have to say tomorrow!

Happy New Year, 2009!

with love, Kirsten xo

December Views:: I Want a Hippopatamus for Christmas

2008-12-08T10:22:00.003-05:00

December Views:: Hark the Herald Angels Sing

2008-12-02T20:21:00.005-05:00

December Views:: Old Toy Trains

2008-12-01T20:50:00.013-05:00

From the Heart

2008-11-29T15:01:00.001-05:00

I had posted this and taken it down...

having tried hard, but unsuccessfully, to find the perfect words of my own to accompany it.

When a dear friend emailed me, thankful to have found it in her bloglines this afternoon,

I realized I didn't need to say anything at all.

That the song speaks, from and to the heart, of where I'm at.

xoxoxox

Standing Still

2008-10-21T12:24:00.010-04:00

Sometimes, all I need is to stand still and take one deep breath.

Just long enough::

to allow the crispness of the air to awaken my soul

to feel the sun on my face & hear the leaves dancing on the wind

to let the richness of my life soak in.

Sometimes, all I need is to stand still::

and remind myself that my life is rooted in possibility

changing as quickly as the seasons

and full beyond measure.

I invite you to stand still and take one deep breath in the midst of your busy life today?

Falling Back In

2008-10-14T13:33:00.000-04:00

I'm falling back in

without apology

or explanation

without promises

or expectations

of for how long

or how often

without feeling the need to begin again

or do any better

I'm

completely

imperfectly

falling back in.

Creating the Life I Want

2008-09-22T10:49:00.010-04:00

Squam Art Workshops:: Earth Project with Penelope Dullaghan

She decided to free herself, dance into the wind, create a new language. And birds fluttered around her, writing "yes" in the sky.

~Monique Duval~

Daisies

2008-07-14T20:54:00.005-04:00

DAISIES

It is possible, I suppose that sometime

we will learn everything

there is to learn: what the world is, for example,

and what it means. I think this as I am crossing

from one field to another, in summer, and the

mockingbird is mocking me, as one who either

knows enough already or knows enough to be

perfectly content not knowing. Song being born

of quest he knows this: he must turn silent

were he suddenly assaulted with answers. Instead

oh hear his wild, caustic, tender warbling ceaselessly

unanswered. At my feet the white-petalled daisies display

the small suns of their center piece, their -- if you don't

mind my saying so -- their hearts. Of course

I could be wrong, perhaps their hearts are pale and

narrow and hidden in the roots. What do I know?

But this: it is heaven itself to take what is given,

to see what is plain; what the sun lights up willingly;

for example -- I think this

as I reach down, not to pick but merely to touch --

the suitability of the field for the daisies, and the

daisies for the field.

~ Mary Oliver ~

Strawberry Fields Forever

2008-07-06T23:19:00.014-04:00

Happy Canada Day!

2008-07-01T17:37:00.009-04:00

~Wishing my Canadian readers, at home and abroad, a very Happy Canada Day!!!~

*Face paint by the AMAZING Kromatik

Stepping into My Second Year...

2008-06-23T11:43:00.008-04:00

I wrote my last post on the eve of my son's 9th birthday, in the midst of planning and preparations. I wanted so very much to mark the occasion, despite being distracted...despite not having the time to write all that I wanted to say. Even now, I can't honestly find the words to express what this space and all of you have come to mean in my life. It's been one year since I published my first post and I am forever changed by the experience. I never imagined how much loveliness I would find here, how much support and loving encouragement would flow into my life. Last week, I said YES to being a part of this amazing adventure and I'm so looking forward to meeting hug to hug those of you attending that I've connected with heart to heart already. The most amazing part of this journey has also been the hardest...connecting with so many lovely women...with so many, many miles between us that sometimes it hardly seems fair. I'm hopeful, that our physical paths will cross, as it is with all things, when the time is right.

The other day I thanked you for believing in me, but more importantly I want to thank you for reminding me to believe in myself. I want to thank you for taking such gentle care of my heart, for nurturing and inspiring mine when I had long since given up on listening to it myself.

The winter of 2008 was particularly long here and it's taken me all of spring to pull myself out of its darkness and quiet. I'm back now, just in time for summer, and ready to return to this space on a more regular basis. I thank you for your patience in sticking by me, for your comments and emails that reminded me that even in my quiet...I wasn't alone...that you had never left.

I dedicate this song to YOU and this brand new season.

It's summertime~xo

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song

You go ahead, let your hair down

Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,

Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

~Corrine Bailey Rae:: Put Your Records On

A Year

2008-06-20T19:35:00.009-04:00

Little tiny dreams, Kirsten, require little tiny thoughts and little tiny steps.

Great big dreams require great big thoughts and little tiny steps.

Do I paint a clear picture?

The Universe

One year ago today I published my very first post.

To those of you who are journeying alongside me, I thank you for your guidance, your support, your encouragement, your patience and your friendship.

I thank you for continuing to believe in and inspire me to follow my dreams.

In love and light,

Kirsten

Somewhere

2008-06-02T21:29:00.013-04:00

Today, I'm dreaming of somewhere, just a step beyond the rain...

how about you, what are you dreaming of...

Moving forward...

2008-05-28T20:50:00.015-04:00

So, I feel like I'm kind of jumping right back in here...

like I haven't been away forever.

And it's not that I don't want to fill in the blanks...it's just that I'm not sure I can...or I'm not sure I need to...or perhaps some combination of the two.

Today, I thought perhaps I'd just tell you what I was thinking about this afternoon and maybe we could just go from there...

***

We were heading out on a weekend road trip a few weeks back and we stopped, like we usually do, at the gas station on the way out to fill up with gas, check the tire pressure and pick up the coffees we're too disorganized to make at home before we leave. And as we're pulling out of the station, my husband says to me, "The tires on the passenger side were really low. You should make a point of checking them more often." Which I think must be code for...AT ALL... knowing full well he knows exactly how often I check the tire pressure:: read NEVER.

Still, I make a mental note to add that to the list of "Things To Do Once My Life is Running MUCH More Smoothly".. as it stands it's pretty near the bottom of the list. Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't think tire pressure is important. I understand the weight in my tires is very important to the optimum functioning of my vehicle, it's just not something I think about...not weekly or even monthly...just not EVER. Anyway...we continue for a short distance in silence. Me, contemplating the ever-growing list of things on my priority list and where exactly *occasionally check tire pressure* might fit in and him, contemplating I'm sure his next question...

"Can you tell, when they're really low?" he asks. "Like the whole car pulls to one side...can you not feel that when you're driving?"

And I pause for a moment, a mother who spends 90% of her time driving about with children who are either talking, singing or arguing simultaneously while en route to a class or an appointment or an event that we are most definitely running behind for and I look across at him, and I say..."No. No, I don't feel that." And even as the words come tumbling out of my mouth and I realize that I'm not about to instill much confidence in my ability to drive a motor vehicle that carries all he holds most dear, I add... "To be perfectly honest honey, and this might not be something you really want to know, but when I'm driving I just try to keep the car moving in the right direction...in between the lines, preferably of my own lane...at a speed that seems consistent with those around me...and I try not to hit anything. Moving or otherwise."

***

Our conversation continued for a short while after that...but that's the part I was thinking about this afternoon when I realized that the way I drive is pretty much the way I've been living my life lately. I'm just focusing my energies on moving forward, trying hard to stay the course, keep pace and avoid any major calamities.

1.5 hours

2008-05-07T23:56:00.010-04:00

Goat Cheese, Beets and Portobello Mushrooms with pesto, tomato and greens...grilled on Multigrain bread...yum!!!

Every Wednesday, this homeschooling mama gets 1.5 hours all to herself in the middle of the her day, in the middle of her week. It's truly amazing what you can accomplish in 1.5 hours; how much sanity can be restored in just 90 minutes.
Today, I spent some time at one of my favourite little hangouts having lunch with you, in a manner of speaking.
Thinking about all the places I'd love to take you if ever you found yourself in my neck of the woods.
Wondering about what we might do together, if ever I found myself in yours.
It's funny, how the world can seem so big and so small at the very same time.

Love Thursday:: A Ruby Anniversary

2008-04-24T12:16:00.000-04:00

My parents, March 23, 1968.

Theirs is a love story written over 4 decades, with many chapters still left to be penned.

Their love is the foundation of a family of four...a mother, a father and their two daughters.

They are the center of three separate families all intricately woven now...a growing clan that includes 2 son-in-laws and 4 beautiful grandchildren.

I see their relationship as a testament to a commitment so strong, a respect so deep and a love so great that it is, to me, a shining beacon of hope in a world of great uncertainty.

Looking at this photo and their wedding album a few weeks ago, I couldn't help but wonder on that day, all those years ago, how they thought it might all unfold...where they thought their love might take them..if they had any idea what a difference their love would make to the lives of so many others.

Forty years ago, two young adults trusted their hearts into another's keeping and cast forth their love into a world of possibility...how lucky for me.xo

Happy 40th Wedding Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

You are truly an inspiration and I am so very proud to be your daughter.

All my love,

Kirsten

*photos of our family celebration trickling in here...

Love Thursday:: 5 Candles

2008-04-03T23:23:00.004-04:00

Once upon a time, my brown-eyed girl...

I wished for you, with all of my heart.

Leap

2008-03-31T15:31:00.008-04:00

Leap, and the net will appear. ~ John Burroughs

I feel as though I've landed softly in a place full of loveliness. A safe place where hope blossoms and inspiration is written across the skies. I feel blessed to be traveling alongside you, thankful for your company, your wisdom and your grace. Sending love this monday to the farthest corners of the earth, to all of the lovelies who have sprinkled their magic into my quiet days.

I'm ready now...

2008-03-16T20:51:00.003-04:00

I've been quiet here these past few months and it isn't the busyness of my life that's keeping me away, it's the busyness of my mind. I come here to write with a head full of chaotically interwoven thoughts and it's just been easier somehow to keep them all inside. At least, that's what I leave telling myself.

But lately, my heart feels like it's bursting at the seams and the stress is great...the stress is causing physical pain...and the pain is now constant and impossible to ignore.

I've tried convincing myself that there are lessons to be learned in staying with the pain, if I can only find a way to breathe a little deeper. What I'm recognizing is that there's familiarity and comfort in the holding. That the alternative leaves my heart wide open...exposed and vulnerable.

Letting go means facing my fears, listening with my whole heart and ultimately, taking a great leap of faith...

I'm ready now to begin letting go.

Just Breathe

2008-03-05T15:14:00.007-05:00

Breathe in...

Breathe out...

I've been taking some quiet time each day to bring awareness to my breath. To allow myself to be present in the moment.

Allow.

I'm noticing that my exhalations are long and weighted, uncomfortably so sometimes, and yet I stay.

Stay.

I have a clear sense that things are shifting, that space is being created as I learn to release.

Release.
Release.
Release.

Breathe in...Breathe out.
Inhale...Exale.
Hold on...Let go.

Allow.

Stay.

Release.

Rainy Days and Mondays

2008-02-25T15:24:00.003-05:00

The Carpenters ~ Rainy Days and Mondays

It's another grey day in this longest/shortest month of the year.
February has always been a difficult month for me, this one hasn't been an exception.
I'm struggling to balance my many roles with my own personal needs...
trying hard to hold on tight...
trying hard to just let go...
if only I knew which.

Love Thursday:: Reaching

2008-02-21T11:18:00.005-05:00

Only as high as I reach can I grow,

only as far as I seek can I go,

only as deep as I look can I see,

only as much as I dream can I be."

~ Karen Ravn

I have, of course, always believed in the limitless potential of my brown-eyed girl. Lately, albeit quite slowly, I am rediscovering and reconneting with that part of me that believes in my own.

Love Thursday xo

2008-02-14T14:16:00.006-05:00

I hope that wherever this finds you...

you can feel it.

The Way She Sees It

2008-02-06T22:45:00.000-05:00

Out and about with my brown-eyed girl today, she says to me...

"It's such a lovely song the birds are singing, isn't it Mama?"

And I stopped.

I hadn't heard their song, my own internal monologue running over the list of to-do's for the afternoon, but there it was bright and clear and lovely indeed. And as we stood there together, I couldn't honestly remember the last time I'd heard birds singing. And that got me to thinking about all the other things I might not be hearing because of the internal chattering going on in my head.

I wanted to take a photo of these little songbirds but try as we might we just couldn't spy them. Today, I suppose I was only meant to listen.

And listen I did.

We didn't run errands today.

We didn't cross off any to-do's.

Instead, we sat together at a coffee shop and she drank her hot chocolate and I drank my tea. And she made funny faces and I took her photo. And I thought about how truly amazing the way she sees it is.

I thought about the innocence of her question and the simple beauty of its answer.

What do you think would happen if you stopped what you were doing and stood still today?

What do you think you would hear if you turned down the voices inside your head?

I dare say, you might just hear the whisperings of HOPE.

Just So We're Clear

2008-02-02T23:02:00.001-05:00

February arrived yesterday.

It blew into town with a very clear message that winter's not quite finished with us yet...

I replied with a very clear message of my own.

I believe...

SPC:: Snow Angel

2008-01-29T18:54:00.000-05:00

We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another. ~Luciano de Crescenzo

Today, I celebrate you...yes you, my angels.
And I thank you so very much for believing in me, for inspiring me, for embracing me.
I am truly blessed and so grateful for the opportunity to soar to new heights.

You can see what others are celebrating here

Peeking

2008-01-26T23:44:00.000-05:00

Keep your faith in beautiful things;

in the sun when it is hidden,

in the Spring when it is gone.

~Roy R. Gibson

It's been a difficult month...I can't say for certain why.
I go through the motions of my days and by the end of them I'm too tired to spend much time thinking about it.
Maybe it's too cold...trapped underneath layer upon layer of clothing...I feel restricted.
Maybe it's too little fresh air...too little sunshine...not enough warmth and light upon my cheeks.
Maybe it's too dark...for too long.

Maybe it's too little colour...too many shades of grey...everywhere I turn.

I went grocery shopping today and noticed for the first time this year all the spring flowers peeking out...
pots and fresh cut stems...
of tulips and crocuses and sweet smelling hyacinths.
I bought myself these tiny crocuses...carried them home...and planted them in the snow.
I got my camera out and photographed them for a while.
Then I sat back and thought about all that was happening in the darkness...underneath the snow...despite the cold.
I thought about promises...hope...and faith.

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-01-21T09:21:00.000-05:00

My sister, My Mom, Me and My Dad...Mom's Birthday Party Last Year.

Tomorrow, my Mom will arrive by train to spend a few days with us. We will have a little birthday celebration in her honour and her time here will go by quickly, as it always does. But today is her birthday and if she happens to make her way to this space I wanted her to find a special little message from me and maybe even a wish or two from some of you ;-)
I've been thinking about this post all week and when I went off to bed last night I hadn't the faintest idea what it was I would say here this morning. There is a lifetime of love between us and it seemed an overwhelming amount of ground cover in just one post!!!

When I think about my mom, I think about how she's always been there.

I think about how she's always supported me.
I think about how it is we've grown together as mother and daughter into friends.
I think about how today I see us as women journeying togethering...
side by side...
each on our own paths to self-discovery.
I think about how she is still learning about herself, still growing into her own, still changing.
I think about how much I admire her for that.

I wish for her a year full of magic and ordinary miracles.
I wish for her special time spent with family and friends.
I wish for her flowers and sunshine.
I wish for her laughter and music, singing and dancing.
I wish for her a year filled with joy, a year of discovering new things..big and small... that make her heart sing.
I wish for her a year in which all the love and support she gives, she finds returned to her...a year of balancing her own needs with the needs of those she loves.
I wish for her to know how special she is...how she is loved far more than these words could ever say...
today and always.

Happy Birthday, Mom!
I'm looking forward to everything this beautiful new year has in store for you...
so excited to see how you will manifest the dreams you are holding in your heart.
All my love,
k
xoxoxo

You make my day ;-)

2008-01-17T19:04:00.000-05:00

Well, you certainly all made my day with your beautiful hellos, your welcome back smiles and your loving x's and o's on my last post. It felt really good to be back...it felt really good to silence all the other voices and speak simply from my heart with a wonderful knowing that you didn't expect anything more.

When I emerged Monday, I certainly didn't expect to be awarded this:

from two amazing women who inspire me so much and who truly do make my day each and every time I visit them or they visit me out here in blogland. I thank you both so very much for thinking of me!!!

So the rules go like this::

Give this award to up to 10 people whose blogs bring you happiness and inspiration and make you feel so happy about blogland! Let them know by posting a comment on their blog so that they can pass it on. Beware! You may get the award several times!

Well, I'm pretty sure you have all received this several times over in the past few days but I lovingly bestow it upon you again this evening. So, my "You Make My Day" awards go to:

Amanda
Jen
Jen
Jenica
Kristen
Liz
Maddie
Mccabe
Stacie
Thea

Emerging

2008-01-14T12:26:00.000-05:00

I've been away from this space longer than I expected to be and with every passing day my return to it loomed a little more dauntingly then the day before...
my perfectionist gremlins screaming louder and louder...
the pressure building to write a "creative", "truly inspired" post to set the tone for this "new" year.
But today...
I really wanted to say hello.
Today...
I needed hello to be a perfect enough beginning.

A Hopefull New Year!

2007-12-31T00:08:00.000-05:00

Hopefull art by the lovely Jen Lemen of SoulSister Designs

I wish I could say I found my magic in the busyness of this holiday season, but the truth is I didn't. I simply didn't this year. That's not to say that we didn't have a lovely Christmas or that we didn't have a wonderful time away with family, we did...especially the children! It just didn't really feel like Christmas to me.
Since returning home a few days ago, I've spent time quietly writing in my journal, making a list of things that were important to me that I didn't do this holiday. I have made a special note of them and I hope it helps when I have the opportunity to do things differently next year. Ahhhhhhhh, the grace of a new year. ;-) If Christmas is the pinnacle of disorganization for me, New Year's Eve is perhaps the most magical evening of all. To me it seems the gateway to another year waiting to be created...and I am happy for the chance to play my part...anxious to see how it will all unfold. As this year draws to a close, I'm realizing that for all the things I didn't get quite right, I'm content enough with all the things I did.
I have learned much about myself this year.
I have learned much about friendship and community.
I have learned much from all of you, from visiting your spaces and from your visits to mine.
When I began writing here back in June, I could not have anticipated the support I would find, the friendships I would forge, the love I would feel. On this New Year's Eve, I want to extend a heartfelt thank you for your presence in my life. I can honestly say I have never believed more in my ability to create the life I want. I have never stood on the cusp of a new year so full of hope...ready to welcome magic and possibility with arms wide open...ready to embrace this one wild and precious life.
Sending you love and blessings for a Hopefull 2008!
xoxoxo

Happy Holidays

2007-12-22T01:31:00.000-05:00

Well, yesterday might well have been the shortest day of the year...but it's feeling incredibly long from where I'm sitting. It's coming up on 2am and I'm still in the midst of laundry and packing and making sure I haven't forgotten any stashed gifts before we head to my parent's home tomorrow. I'm so anxious to get there!!! They'll have the house all ready for us and it will be festive and warm and wonderful. I'm hoping with all my heart, you find yourself wrapped up in the love of family and friends this holiday season.

Peace and Joy to you and yours,
Merry Christmas from me and mine.
xoxoxo

The Holiday Season

2007-12-17T19:56:00.001-05:00

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?

~Dr. Seuss

I'm having a hard time escaping the consumerism of the season. My husband keeps reminding me it's not about the gifts. I know this should be true...but since I've left everything to the last minute, as usual, the gifts are about all I'm thinking about these days. I mean I'm filling the wish lists from Santa and offering up ideas to family as to what the children want and I'm shopping for family and friends and it seems to me as I'm sitting her completely exhausted that it is about the gifts. And the sad realization begins to sink in...I haven't done anything differently or better then last year or the year before that or the year before that...
I've been wondering a lot about what it is about this season that has lost its magic for me. I have two delightful children who love every minute of it...whose eyes twinkle with the magic of belief. Yet, I feel...well if I'm being completely honest...I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed. The truth is this particular holiday has become the culmination of all the ways in which I just didn't measure up over the past year. It is where the sea of good intentions swallows me whole and I drowned with the weight of all the things I just didn't finish, let alone start. Christmas is the time when I'm at the pinnacle of disorganization. Every single year I buy Christmas card with the full intention of writing beautiful letters and enclosing gorgeous photos of my precious two. Some years I've actually even written them!!! But they've never made it to the post box. I start gifts I can't finish. I buy supplies but never get around to starting the actual projects. I start off with grand ambitions to handmake all my gifts. I have the talent and I daresay most of the supplies I would have needed this year to do just that. When I realized I'd missed the boat on doing so again this year, I started browsing my favourite etsy stores figuring if I couldn't make them myself, I'd buy handmade from someone else. I procrastinated away hours browsing for gifts and ideas but never actually commited and realized last week that I didn't have time to have anything shipped here before the holidays without it costing me way more money then I had. With only one week left before Christmas, I'm feeling pretty much the exact same way I felt this time last year...struggling with the distance between what it is I believe my priorities are and how it is I've prioritized my time.
I know that Christmas will come and go. We'll spend it wrapped up in the love of family and friends and it will be magical. I know that everything that needs to get done will, in some form or another. But something has to change. I don't want to spend another holiday season feeling this way. I'm taking notes and welcoming suggestions for the year ahead.

December Views:: Snowy Sunday

2007-12-16T21:20:00.001-05:00

December Views:: Cousin Time Sweetness

2007-12-13T20:20:00.001-05:00

December Views

2007-12-11T23:07:00.003-05:00

December Views

2007-12-09T10:51:00.000-05:00

When I finished Nablopomo last week, my head still filled with letters and words, I couldn't even imagine posts without them or fathom taking on another commitment of daily posting. But, I've been quietly sitting with my emotions this week and the quiet feels good...it feels really good. So, inspired by many of you lovelies I've decided to embrace this quiet and join in on December Views, for as long as it feels right to do so. I am thankful to my beautiful and wise friend for the invitation. xo

An Anniversary of an Altogether Different Kind

2007-12-03T12:19:00.000-05:00

Yesterday marked the 5 year anniversary of the day we lost our home in a fire. Less then 2 days after my sister's wedding, on the morning we were set to return home, we received a call saying our neighbour's home had caught fire in the middle of the night...a call saying they had been unable to contain the fire and that it had taken our home as well.
It's been five years since Kaiden was 3.5 years old and I was 25 weeks pregnant with Maya standing beside Colin as he took that call... as he tried to piece together what had happened...and what came next.
It was less then a month before Christmas and it would take over a year before we would return "home."
We survived that year. We survived the rebuild and the shopping and the paperwork and the paperwork and the paperwork.
We were safe and we had insurance and we took care of what we could with the time we had.
It has been 5 years and I haven't thought too much about that year we were displaced, but this year I was overcome with emotions I did not expect. The strain and stress of that year washed over me in a way it had yet to do.
I remember how hard Colin and I tried to be nice to each other at the end of day when decisions needed to me made and paperwork needed to be filled in and submitted, and shopping (always more) shopping had to be done. I remember how little time I had for Kaiden, how little patience I had for my sweet little boy...in a new home...with a new sister. I remember crying and crying and crying. I remember hanging on...barely hanging on for one full year.
I know that the fire wasn't our fault and that it doesn't much matter whose fault it was.
I know that we lost things and they were just things and they shouldn't matter...except some of them did...some of them mattered a great deal to me.
I know that I can't get back that house that Kaiden was born in and Maya wasn't.
I know that I can't get back the time we spent shopping, or doing paperwork or in meetings with the builder and the adjuster and the bank to spend it playing with my little boy and cherishing those early months with my new baby girl.
I know that I can't get back the first year of Maya's life or the fourth year of Kaiden's.
I know that I can't take back the yelling and the crying and the year I spent living on the edge of overwhelm.
In my head, I know all of this and my heart is busy processing.
We have a beautiful new home.
We are safe and well and we were never in harm's way and that in the end is ALL that matters.
Yesterday, the temperatures well into the minuses, my husband with the help of a wonderful friend hung lights for the very first time on the tree outside our home. This tree was planted the year we moved into the original home on this lot. It survived the fire, the removal of all the debris and the excavation and rebuilding of our home. It meant something to me on this anniversary day to light it and I thank them for braving the cold to make it happen. I thank my dear friend Brandie for cooking and baking...listening and talking...crying and laughing with me all day yesterday...for bringing her light and warmth into my home and spending this day, that I didn't know would be quite so hard, with me.
Today, I'm tired, but okay.
Today, I know that a new level of healing has begun.
Today, for the first time I wasn't sure whether to hit publish or delete.
Today, this is where I'm at.

*We were a couple of light strands short, but I really wanted to post a photo of some kind. I'll post an updated photo when we're all finished ;-)

Anniversary Wishes to a Sweet Sister and Her Love

2007-11-30T12:52:00.000-05:00

Vanessa and Soulsen Wedding Day 2002

Five years ago today, my baby sister married the love of her life in the most magical of winter weddings. In a church lit by candlelight and warmed by the love of family and friends, I was so very honored to stand beside them.

Vanessa and Soulsen,
Today, you celebrate five years of growing, as individuals and as a couple.
Today, you celebrate the joy of two beautiful daughters born out of your love.
Today, you celebrate all the wonderful days and all the hard days and all the days in between that have brought you to this day, together.
Today, you celebrate love and hope.
Today, I am celebrating the two of you and the extraordinary blessings you bring to my life.
All my love,
k
xoxoxo

*Sweet Sister, you are the most amazing wife and mother. Your beauty takes my breath away.

The ABC's of Me

2007-11-29T15:01:00.000-05:00

Self-portrait ~ Yoga Retreat Summer 2007

Inspired by this sweet soul I've decided this meme seemed a good way to close out Nablopomo for me. I really can't express how grateful I am to all of you for your support this past month...only one more day to go!

The ABC's of Me::

Aware ~ that the choices I make, the words I say and the actions I take, absolutely make a difference.

Believer ~ in faeries and magic and dreams coming true.

Creating ~ the life I want, with my love, for our children.

Disorganized ~ terribly so!!!

Emerging

Family and Friends ~ nothing means anything without them.

Green ~ conscientious about the choices I make for my family and the environment.

Hopeful ~ that I'm on the right path, that I am heading in the direction of my dreams.

Indecisive ~ seriously...perhaps the most indecisive person you've never met!!!

Journeying ~ Inward

Kirsten ~ is pronounced KERS-ten. It is of Scandinavian origin.

Leo ~ My birthday lies on the cusp between Cancer and Leo...but I have always believed I am more a Leo.

Mother ~ Motherhood is most definitely what defines me...I want nothing more then to give them my very best...everyday.

Not ~ who I used to be...Not quite who I want to be.

Oscillating ~ between happiness and melancholy.

People-pleaser ~ It was easier as a child, there seemed to be less people to please. I'm serously thinking I'll give it up completely one of these days. ;-)

Questioning ~ Always.

Realizing ~ more and more what matters most.

Singer ~ Classically trained in my youth, but now I sing pretty much everywhere...most of the time I don't even know I'm doing it.

Thinker ~ I'm definitely more of a think-er then a do-er...I'm THINKING about changing that. ;-)

Unique.

Vibrant ~ Some days more so, then others.

Walker ~ I used to walk 7km a day but now I don't...I'm not really sure why.

X-tra ~ I'm not really content being average...I like to be a little X-tra...I'm X-tra cautious, dramatic, protective, senistive...I think you can see where I'm going with this one.

You ~ must be the change you want to see in the world.~Mahatma Gandhi. I'm trying.

Zany ~ I'm not really all that Zany...but I wanted to go out with a Zing!!!

One last time, my lovelies...what's the letter that defines where you're at or what you're doing today?

Friendship

2007-11-28T23:13:00.000-05:00

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

~ Anais Nin

I have to admit I actually struggled a bit today. Letterless and directionless, I posted a few different things and then took them down...finally settling on this beautiful quote. Finally settling...before I drift off to sleep...on possibility and growth and friendships, old and new and yet to be revealed.
Sweet Dreams ;-)

Z is for Zoo

2007-11-27T16:57:00.001-05:00

Well, I made it!!!
A-Z.
ZZZZZZZZZZ ~ I hope I didn't bore you to sleep ;-)
Still a few more days left of Nablopomo. Three more Nablopomo posts after tonight's Z is for Zoo.
So, this past February we spent a wonderful week in Barcelona, a jam-packed wonderful week!!!
Colin was there on business and we tagged along. It meant that during the day the children and I split our time visiting one place I wanted to visit and one place they wanted to visit, per day. It was a beautiful, warm and sunny morning when we set out to Barcelona Zoo, which is counted among the list of top 10 things to do with children while in Barcelona. I surveyed up the map and we were off, Kaiden and I on foot and Maya in her stroller. We walked and walked and walked, for a good 45 minutes, before I realized that we probably should have arrived at our destination. I pulled out the map. I had absolutely NO IDEA where we were, at all!!! We were off the map...very far off the map I was carrying. We began searching for the closest entrance to the underground. We walked and walked and walked until we finally found it. We took the subway which involved several line transfers (more walking) and arrived back at our starting place 2 hours later!!!
It was time to regroup.
We were not going to be able to accomplish two tourist sights on this day.
The children were on their absolute best behaviour, clearly I must have looked on the verge of a mental breakdown.
I decided to give up my pick of the day and we departed again in search of the Zoo...which we found 10 MINUTES LATER!!!
I realized at the gate it was going to cost a small fortune to get in.
I explained to the children..."it's a LOT of money and we don't have a whole LOT of time before we plan on meeting daddy."
They stared at me. I knew what they were thinking. But we worked SO hard to get here. But you told us we we're going to see Snowflake, the rare albino gorilla who lives here. Look, there she is...looking down on us from that larger then life poster.
I forked over the small fortune and we entered.
We made a direct beeline for the gorillas.
None of us could see her.
"Where's Snowflake," they asked.
"I'm not really sure," I said.
We looked and looked....EVERYWHERE.
And then I saw the plaque...the one in memory of Snowflake, the rare albino gorilla who passed away in 2003!!!
I pulled out my guidebook and started searching frantically for the date of publication.
Published months BEFORE Snowflake's death.
I felt like I just might hyperventilate...I looked them in the eye...these children who had walked for hours on hours...who'd listended to me talk all about the zoo and this gorilla and I said, "She died."
They looked at me for a moment...a mother trying her very best...stepping so far out of her comfort zone...a mother defeated.
"It's okay, Mom," Kaiden said.
"But she's dead Kaiden. We spent 2.5 hours getting here and she died, LIKE 4 YEARS AGO!!!"
A few minutes passed and no one said anything.
We were all waiting for what came next...waiting to see how the rest of the afternoon would play out.
It was Kaiden who stepped up and broke the silence. "There are still lots of other great animals we can see here," he said.
And with tears stinging my eyes, I thanked them, with all that I had, for being the most amazing travel companions a mommy far from home could EVER have hoped for...

What's your "Z" ;-)

Y is for You!!!

2007-11-26T16:40:00.000-05:00

Well, my lovelies today is all about YOU!

Talk to me about your day.

Share a story or your most favourite "Y" word.

Tell me what's on your mind...what's in your heart.

I'm all ears...

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

~ Dr. Seuss

X is for XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO ;-)

2007-11-25T19:40:00.000-05:00

It's a bit of cheat, but I figured you'd all let it slide, since I was sending out a whole lot of lovin' and it was either this or my xerox story!!!
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX!
Feel free to share your "X" word or a few kisses and hugs XO in the comments section ;-)

W is for Winter Wonderland

2007-11-24T15:18:00.000-05:00

Silently, silently, all through the night,
Snowflakes had fallen, lacy and white.
By morning the town shimmered brilliant and new,
Promising wonderful, wild things to do.
~Phoebe Gilman {Jillian Jiggs and the Great Big Snow}

We woke up to our first Great Big Snow of the season here Thursday morning. There's something so magical about that very first snowfall every year. How even as it plays havoc with the traffic, even as plans need to be changed, even as we rummage through last year's snow gear in the basement because we haven't quite gotten it together to buy boots and hats and gloves for yet another year of growth, even as chaos reigns, there is this irresistible feeling of peace and enchantment.
For our part, we stuck close to home. We spent most of the day digging ourselves out, building snowforts and making snow angels, sipping hot chocolate and eating freshly baked cinnamon rolls. As I write this the children are outside playing in our Winter Wonderland and I am listening to Sarah McLachlan's Wintersong CD. And it would seem...Winter is here to stay.

*Thank you all so much for your beautiful comments and emails on my last post. I hope Wherever this finds you, you Will feel the Warmth of the Words you left me reflected back, as though my arms are Wrapping themselves gently around you.
Love and Blessings,
k
xo

Please share your "W"ord of the day ;-)

V is for Voice

2007-11-23T16:19:00.001-05:00

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice --

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do --

determined to save

the only life you could save.

~ Mary Oliver ~

When I began Nablopomo over 3 weeks ago, I was on the Verge of closing down this space and giving up this blog.
The Voices in my head kept telling me that I had nothing of real Value to share, nothing exceptional to say that would keep people coming back.
I signed up because I so desperatley wanted to give the tiniest little voice a chance to be heard.
A chance for one whole month to prove all the other Voices wrong.

I thank you all so Very much for your loving support.

What's your "V" word of the day?

U is for Uplifting

2007-11-22T20:25:00.000-05:00

I'm playing along with the ever inspiring Daisies who is participating in Pay It Forward over on her blog today. So, what's Pay It Forward and how do you play along?
Well, the first three people who comment on this post will receive a surprise gift from me!!! THERE'S ONLY ONE RULE ;-) ...in order to get the surprise gift, you must also Pay it Forward on your blog. I think it's a delightful and Uplifting way to begin this season of giving, I hope you'll join us in spreading a little magic. Please indicate clearly in the comments if you're interested in playing along, that way everyone will know where to find you if they happen to miss the three surprises I'm offering here ;-)
Feel freel to leave your favourite "U" word of the day, also ;-)

T is for Thankful

2007-11-21T16:20:00.000-05:00

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~Albert Schweitzer

Tonight, I am lighting a candle for each of you.
Thankful for the words you write, the photos you take, the truths you share.
Thankful for the trust, the hope, the friendships we are forging.

What's your "T"?

*Wishing all of you American lovelies a wonderful Thanksgiving.*

S is for Self Portrait Challenge:: What I Wear

2007-11-20T18:43:00.000-05:00

Superhero Tropical

Hers was the first blog I ever read and it remains a continual Source of inspiration on this journey towards Self-discovery.

Check out what others are wearing here ...
and leave your favourite "S" word of the day ;-)

R is for Reminders

2007-11-19T19:48:00.000-05:00

“Action expresses priorities.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Since writing this post the other day I've been receiving reminders from the universe that it's time to refocus my energies.
Time to realign the way I'm living my life, on a daily basis, with the priorities my heart holds most dear.
Yesterday, I spent the afternoon at the most beautiful spa. I moved through a cycle of warm, hot, cold baths and finished with an incredible body bake (body scrub and seaweed wrap). I expected to leave feeling relaxed and renewed!!! In fact, renewed was supposed to be the title of this very post. But, instead as my body plunged into a rapid detox..I was overcome with nausea...I couldn't move...I couldn't talk...I coudn't drink...I couldn't eat. My shoulders and neck were so tight...had been for so long...every toxin just pooling there...paralyzing me. It took more then 4 hours of laying perfectly still and a shiatsu treatment from my mother-in-law before I could even bring myself to sit up. It was a violent reminder that I had pushed my body beyond its limits, time and time again. That, I had been neglecting my diet, my exercise program, my body treatments for far too long. It made me realize that somehow, sometime ago...I had allowed my health to drop down on my list of priorities.
Other reminders have come to me much more gently. A few wonderful days away visiting with family. Coming back home to my own space...my own bed. The clean, clear crispness of the morning air. The cozy warmth of the fireplace at night. An inspirational conversation I enjoyed with a lovely couple who've been married for 62 years!!! Speaking with them, listening to the way they spoke to and about one another, watching them together moved me incredibly. "It's important to remember there is no tomorrow," they said at the very end of our conversation. "These are the only moments that matter."
Indeed, they are.

What's your "R" word today?

Q is for....

2007-11-18T10:11:00.000-05:00

All I can manage today is a Quick hello...

Feel free to ask me a Question...
Leave your favourite Quote...
Tell me what you would do if you had 1 hour of Quiet time right now, just for you.
Or simply your "Q" word of the day.

Hope your weekend was wonderful!

P is for Perspective

2007-11-17T17:05:00.000-05:00

I spent some time yesterday playing with my camera,
shifting my energy,
breathing deeply,
thinking grateful thoughts for all the blessing in my life.
I spent some time yesterday being still,
bringing awareness to all of my senses,
heart wide open,
welcoming a change in perspective.

Wishing you and yours a Happy Saturday ;-)

O is for Out of Order

2007-11-16T14:13:00.000-05:00

While we were out running some errands this morning I spied a sign that read "Out of Order". It stopped me in my tracks and I thought about how aptly it described my life these days. And I wasn't sure whether I should laugh or cry...so I laughed until I cried.
"Out of Order"...I think I might need to buy the t-shirt ;-)

What's your favourite "O" word?

N is for November

2007-11-15T19:36:00.000-05:00

Well, we've reached the half way point of posting for this month...which tonight hardly seems near enough to the end. I'm tired...felling a little like Nablopomo insanity has got the upper hand. November is becoming the month where I have to resign myself to the fact that I won't fulfill my dream to handcraft each and every gift I give yet again, because I haven't started Nearly early enough! It's the month when I start to feel that the weight of good intentions is almost too much to bear.
Tonight, I haven't the energy for links and photos...instead I'll share two short stories from this November Day.

Not Us
It was late September when Maya spied the very first pumpkin of the season...perched on the ledge at the Starbucks drive through window...it was the perfect size for a delicious pie.
"Somebody's getting ready for Halloween," she said.
"Yep, they sure are," I replied.
"We shoud get ready for Halloween, too," she stated.
"Not just yet," I assured her.
It was the begininng of a similar conversation we were to have repeatedly over the course of October over every pumpkin spied, every costume hanging, every aisle of candy until finally I managed to get it together enough to pick up the costumes and carve the pumpkins and Halloween past without the usual decorations, parties or seasonal crafts.
And I was relieved.
Today, while we were out walking she spied Christmas lights sparkling on a nearby home and she looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and said, "Somebody's getting ready for Christmas."
"They sure are," I replied, anticipating what was to come...the guilt and panic rising...
"But not us," she stated "Nope, it's not time for us to get ready just yet, is it Mommy?"
And my heart sank.
It's time to dig deep. It's time for a shift in perspective.

Nikobless
Colin was just getting ready to head out for soccer tonight when I overheard this conversation between him and Kaiden.
Colin: Goodnight...be a good boy for mom...I'll see you in the morning.
Kaiden: Goodnight, Dad...or should I say Nikobless.
Colin: Nikobless, what does that mean?
Kaiden; I have no idea, but Nana always says it before bed.
Colin: You mean...Night, God Bless.
Kaiden: Well, that certainly makes more sense;-)

And on that note, I'll say Nikobless to you and yours.
Don't forget to leave your "N".

M is for Music

2007-11-14T20:11:00.000-05:00

We're all about the music here! Yep, we are a Suzuki Music family ;-)
We've got two children x 2 instruments per child, piano/piano, violin/violin.
Each child has a private lesson per instrument per week (that would be 4 private lessons) AND group classes every Saturday morning.
Each child practices each instrument daily equalling 3 hours total per day, if we manage to get it all in!!!
And then there's the listening...the foundation of the Suzuki Method developed by Dr. Shinichi Suzuki in Japan in the 1940s. I could spend an entire post talking about the wonderful Dr. Suzuki and his mother-tongue method of teaching music to young children...in fact I think I will...another day.
Tonight, I'm really tired so I'm going to move on to the M is for Making Someone Happy portion of this post. ;-)
I'm sure you all remember what I'm drawing for...a copy of this beautiful CD.

So I made a list of all you girls who left your glorious "g" words and we crafted them up into pretty little ballots...

Maya gave us a little drum roll...

Then shook things all about...

And the winner is...

Kaiden: Its Auntie Vanessa.
Me: Seriously? ( I couldn't help giggling thinking about this giveaway.)
Kaiden: Yep...
Me: Well, I already bought her copy.
Kaiden: Then why did you enter her name?
Me: I don't know...I just think it's really sweet that she's figured out how to comment...that she figured it out to support me...and I like that that her "g" word was girlfriend and that...oh, never mind...just draw another name.

And the winner is...

Jen from Ceanand Jen. Well, some might think you've got some lucky mojo going on there, sweetie...but I believe it's all the kindness karma you send out into blogland, coming right back to you ;-)
Congratulations!!! Email me your address and I'll drop it in the mail tomorrow.

Me: Okay guys, thanks for all your help! Now let's head up to bath.
Maya: But I didn't get to pull a name out of the hat...(insert image of the saddest brown eyes EVER here!!!)
Maya: Please, Mommy...I want to give a CD too?
Me: You know what honey, we really should make one more person happy today!!!

And the FINAL winner of the G is for Giveaway contest is...

Maddie from Persisting Stars ;-) Apparently, M is also for Maddie today, hee, hee. I absolutely love Maddie's blog. She has such a gentle and inspiring spirit. Congratulations!!! Please email me your address so I can drop your copy in the mail.

Well, my ladies I thank you all so much for playing along!!!
I wish I could afford to gift a copy to each and every one of you ;-)

What's your "M" today...

L is for Lately...

2007-11-13T19:57:00.000-05:00

Lately, I feel like I'm spending a Lot of time on the inside Looking out.
Watching the world go by.
Constantly walking into the same walls.
Spiralling down the same staircase.

I'm trying hard to figure out what it is that's keeping me trapped inside my head.
What's keeping me on the on the verge of Living my Life.~

These past few weeks I feel like I'm going through the motions.
Barely getting done the things that need doing to keep us in clean clothes with bellies full of healthy food.
I feel the panic of the holiday season creeping in.
I feel myself bracing for the long, cold winter ahead.
I feel myself stuggling to stay present in the hours and minutes of my day.
Lately, that's how I've been feeling.

I'm hoping, my Lovelies, you'll share your "L" with me today.

K is for Knitting

2007-11-12T13:17:00.001-05:00

Here's what's on the needles on this cold, wet pajama day Monday ;-)

What's your "K"?

*A reminder that this contest closes tomorrow at midnight. I'll be drawing to "M"ake someone happy on Wednesday.

J is for Juno Beach

2007-11-11T00:09:00.000-05:00

This past February, during a family vacation in Europe, we had the privilege of travelling to Juno Beach on the coast of Normandy, France. On D-Day, June 6th, 1944 it was the landing beach for Canadian soldiers as the Allied armies began their invasion of Nazi-occupied Europe.
With the exception of one other family, we had the beach to ourselves during our visit.
As I looked out across the water its calm and beauty haunted me. I was overwhelmed thinking of the chaos and fear...the lives that were lost...the price that was paid...the lessons we have yet to learn.

For the Fallen
~Laurence Binyon

They shall grow not old
As we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them
Nor the years condemn;
At the going down of the sun
And in the morning
We will remember them.

We will remember them.

I is for Intentions

2007-11-10T13:10:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of good intentions, pulled under by the weight of countless ideas I've failed to carry forth to fruition.

What's the "I" in your day, my Inspiring lovelies?

H is for Husband

2007-11-09T16:31:00.000-05:00

I don't often mention Him Here, but I'm convinced I have one of the very best Husbands in the whole wide world.
I am truly that blessed!
When we got married, my dad joked with him about the fact that there were absolutely no refunds on this particular daughter (actually I think he was only kind of Half-joking...hee,hee ;-)
I can be quite impossible to live with and I'm sure there are days He thinks long and Hard about How it is we've made it through these past 15 years together.
I Have too.
And Here's what I think.
There is love, most certainly....
but what I believe is that in Hard times our Hearts have managed to string together just enough Hope to keep us Holding on...to carry us through to Happier days.

Hugs all around and Happy Friday!!!
If you're signing off for the weekend, have a good one...
I'll be here Saturday AND Sunday, so feel free to drop round for a little I & J ;-)

Don't forget to leave your "H"...

G is for Giveaway

2007-11-08T09:39:00.001-05:00

So I decided a while back that I wanted to do a little something to mark my 50th post because...well goodness knows if I'll ever actually make it to 100!!! It's so ironic that this milestone happened to coincide with today's letter G for Giveaway!
When I bought the above CD for my little ones I did so solo based on its cover art that drew me in and I paid for it without so much as even looking at the list of songs or knowing anything at all about it. It is the most delightful children's CD we own! I never tire of listening to it and that's saying a lot for a children's CD that is on constant repeat!!! It is quite simply sweetness and light...you can take a listen to the short previews here if you're interested. And if you'd like to be in to win, just leave me a comment with your "G" word for the day. You have until Tuesday November 13th at Midnight. I'll annouce the winner when "M" is for Music next Wednesday ;-)

F is for Fall

2007-11-07T19:51:00.000-05:00

The temperature's hovering around Freezing here today. There was the occasional flurry and plenty of talk about the First snow. It would seem Fall is just about over and winter is coming Fast on her heels.
Here are Five of my Favourite Fall photos...

How about you? What's your "f" today?

E is for Etsy

2007-11-06T10:14:00.000-05:00

So, when I discovered Etsy some time ago, I went a little...hmmm....CRAZY!!!
I was clicking away like a madwoman and before the week was out beautiful little packages (lots and lots of them!!!) began arriving in my mailbox addressed to the "lovely & amazing"...the "beautiful"...me ;-)
Then about a month later, the credit card bill arrived...
let's just say...with the exception of this special gift sent with love from my sister...there haven't been any beautiful little packages in my mailbox for quite sometime ;-)
Still, there's no harm in looking...

Etsy
Buy Handmade
kirstenmichelle

What's the "E" in your day?

D is for Daughter

2007-11-05T10:06:00.000-05:00

"In My Daughter's Eyes"

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes.

The first time I heard this Martina McBride song, it stopped me in my tracks and the tears flowed.
And no matter how many times I hear it, it resonates deep within me.
And I cry, grateful for the miracle and blessings of my sweet baby girl ;-)

You can see it performed here .

What does "D" stand for in your Day, toDay?

C is for Communicate

2007-11-04T06:03:00.001-05:00

I love Sunday mornings.
Every Sunday, after a special family breakfast, my husband and I sit over Coffee and talk...
really talk.
Away from the Chaos of the day and the weary at the end of it...
we Communicate.
Where we're at...
how we're doing...
what comes next.
Sometimes it seems the Conversations are deja vu episodes of the week before, but we have them anyway.
And sometimes, like today, there is a shift...
and I know that positive Changes for our little family unit...
are right around the Corner.

What's your "C"?

B is for Baking

2007-11-03T12:58:00.000-04:00

We baked up some Pumpkin Apple Bread this afternoon, enough to share, wish you all lived a little closer and could pop round for a slice with a cup of tea ;-)
Happy Saturday!

What's your "B" today?

The ABC's of NaBloPoMo

2007-11-02T12:00:00.001-04:00

So we've arrived at day two of National Blog Posting Month and I've decided on an Alphabet Theme to inspire me for at least 26 of the remaining days. Time will tell whether I've actually simplified or complicated my life with this decision ;-) Either way, I'm hoping to have had a whole lot of fun with it before the month is up!!!

A is for AlphAbet.
Tell me, what A is for you todAy...
A is for...?

Bewitched

2007-11-01T12:39:00.000-04:00

Hope you and yours had a safe and Happy Halloween!!!I
It was certainly a crazy, fun day here with my young Harry Potter and Friendly Witch ;-)

And I thought I'd share these fun pics of the "Jones" yard I spied on a walk yesterday...

clearly there were people who set Halloween decorating higher on the priority list then we did this year!!! Aren't they amazing?
And I can't really explain my thought process when I signed up for this today...
except to say that part of me must still have been bewitched from yesterday's adventures ;-)

The Moment I Saw Her...

2007-10-27T20:34:00.000-04:00

From the moment I saw her, I knew she was a woman whose gentle and amazing spirit changed lives...I just didn't know that mine would be one of them.
That our friendship would bring countless bountiful blessings into my life.
That I would learn so much,
feel so much,
grow so much in her presence.
That I would be forever changed in the most wonderful of ways.

And as she packs up her home to move...
far enough away that you'd never pop round because you were in the neighbourhood,
yet close enough that if you really needed you could set out after breakfast and make to her house for lunch,
I miss her already...
more than words can say.

"Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."
~Kahlil Gibran, On Friendship

Mommy, I want to be a fairy princess when I grow up!

2007-10-18T22:36:00.000-04:00

I've been tagged by a sweet mermaid to post my answers to a meme that makes you think about the parts of your life it's never to late to live...

So, here's my list of what I want to be when I'm all grown up?

1. a girl. with her guitar. on a stage. singing her heart out*
2. a photographer. capturing the world as only she can see it*
3. an actor. in an ensemble. on a stage. performing nightly*
4. a humanitarian worker. an advocate for children. a nurturer of the human spirit*
5. a fairy. spreading love, light, laughter and magic...who leaves the world a little sparklier then she found it*

I could go on...
but for today I've just been asked for 5.
As I glance my list over, I know that I wouldn't trade the life I have for anything on it.
I am blessed with the most amazing of grown-up lives.
I am a mother,
living in a world of possibility.
A world...
of magic and make-believe,
of learning and adventure,
of music and laughter,
of dreams...
theirs and mine
coming true.

So I guess this list is more a reflection of the parts of my soul that are calling out to be nurtured just a little bit more,
because when my 4 year old daughter says to me,

"Mommy, I want to be a fairy princess when I'm all grown up, what do you want to be?"
I look at her and smile and speak the truth from deep within....
"I want to be your very best mommy...forever and ever."

I'm tagging these five lovelies for their list of five :

Andrea, Jenica, Megg, Mindy, and Thea

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

Redefining My Depth of Field

2007-10-14T21:21:00.000-04:00

I started a photography course this week in hopes of learning enough technique that I might actually begin using my camera to its full potential somewhere down the road. It's a creative fundamentals course which offers a combination of classroom theory and practical exercises out and about in the world. Today was our first full day of shooting. I returned home after dark this evening, cold, tired, hungry, overwhelmed and feeling like the road is a little longer and a whole lot hillier than I had originally anticipated.
The photo above was one of my last shots of the day.
Looking at it now, I see myself heading out this morning...eager and open.
And I see the me that returned home...head down...discouraged...lacking in a little bit of focus.

thirTEEN

2007-10-11T23:26:00.000-04:00

She is...
*beautiful
*magical
*playful
*strong
*wise
*sensitive
*inspiring
*grace in motion
*a peacekeeper
*an environmentalist
*always grateful
*my eldest niece
*thirTEEN today

Happy Birthday, Bella!

Thanksgiving

2007-10-08T16:11:00.000-04:00

I've been away this week, blessed once again to witness the bringing forth of a tiny miracle into this world.
I was with my sister and her husband as they welcomed their second daughter on the morning of October 3rd.
Congratulations and much love, Vanessa, Soulsen and Hannah Rose...
and welcome with love, Sadie Mae.

It goes without saying I have much to be thankful for this holiday weekend, hoping you and yours are surrounded by love this Thanksgiving.

A Half Marathon is 13.1miles OR 21km

2007-09-30T12:49:00.000-04:00

It's a long way and I know this because I walked my first 1/2 marathon this past May.
I am walker.
I've never been able to do the running thing.
My mommy's a walker too ;-)
But our other half...being my dad and my sister are runners.
My sister started long, long ago and my dad followed in her footsteps.
Together, they have run more 5k, 10k, 30k, 1/2 and Full Marathons then I can keep track of!!!

This photo of the two of them together was taken over 5 years ago as they were preparing to head out for one of the few 1/2 marathons I've had the opportunity to cheer them on for.
This morning, my dad woke up at 4am and prepared for a 7am race start.
This morning, my dad added another 1/2 marathon to the list of his many great accomplishments.
This morning, Dad, even though I couldn't be there in person, you were in my thoughts.
And I wanted you to know how very proud of you I am...
how very proud of you, we all are!!!

Welcome With Love

2007-09-27T19:16:00.000-04:00

Under a full moon,
by candlelight,
in a home filled with love,
I was with my dear friend, Brandie and her beautiful family
as they welcomed the most perfect little being into this world.
Sweet, Sweet Baby Boy,
welcome with love...

Four-ever

2007-09-23T19:03:00.000-04:00

My sister, Vanessa and her beautiful family

Any day now...baby will make four...forever.

Earlier this week, Hannah, my adorable little niece with the lovely locks, asked my sister...

"Mommy, how long are we planning on keeping the baby for?" ;-)

Sweet Blessings for Beautiful Births

2007-09-20T13:38:00.000-04:00

It's a gorgeous day and my little ones have been pleading with me since early morning to let them run wild outside in it.
I have been stuck inside a head full of frazzled thoughts all morning, accomplishing little off my list for the day, so I'm taking their lead. Laptop in one hand, a cup of peppermint tea in the other, and my phone sitting within arm's reach ;-) ...I'm soaking up some fresh air and sunshine in the hopes of collecting my thoughts.

*Exhale
*Release
*Believe

I'm awaiting the births of two now full-term babes about to be born to the very special mamas photographed above, my sister, Vanessa and my very dear friend, B ;-) When they shared their joyous news all those many months ago, I wondered what the odds of the two women I was closest to having due dates within a week of one another was? I mean seriously less then a week apart!
It didn't take long before the anxiety set in about how I was going to be in two places at one time...how I was going to bridge the 500 km distance between them and offer them both the support I so desperately want to provide.
9 months later and with the days counting down...I still don't have the answers.
I'm nesting...cleaning and baking. I have a bag packed and ready to go. Which is ironic, since I never did either of these things during my own pregnancies.
I'm never more then an arms length away from a phone and I'm waiting.
Waiting for the call...
for the calls.
And I'm hoping they don't come too closesly together.
Last night speaking with my sister I told her that I believed everything would unfold exactly as it was meant to be.
Today, I'm trying so desperately to believe that things will.

*Exale
*Release
*Believe

Sweet blessings for beautiful births.

The Rhythm of My Emotions

2007-09-17T16:49:00.000-04:00

It was a cool weekend here.
Cool enough to need housecoats and slippers in the morning,
and a fleece jacket when you leave the house.

Cool enough that little toes were tucked inside socks and closed-toe footwear,
sandals were retired for the season,
and the likelihood we'll be needing any of our summer clothes again this year is pretty slim.

Yes, there is a definite crispness to the air,
as the days grow noticeably shorter,
and the fall colours...in all their glory...take to the treetops above.

As for me,
I'm doing better.
Thank you.

My recent funk, as is so often the case, has brought to the surface feelings that needed to be worked through,
tears that needed to flow,
and choices that needed to be made.

And, so the upswing begins,
once again,
for some undetermined period of time.

I take comfort in knowing that as I grow older the rhythm of my emotions is such that,
the highs last a little bit longer,
and the lows rarely dip down quite as low as they used to.

That there is a general movement toward well-being,
and a strong sense of personal growth,
on this journey toward self-discovery.

I am hoping it is this way for all of you.

***
I want to take this time to thank all of you who left your warm words of encouragement in the comments section of my last post...such wonderful tidbits of wisedom...I was so grateful to receive them. I began crafting personal thank yous to each of you this past weekend. Please email your address AND favourite colour to kcrilly AT gmail DOT com if you are open to receiving this little card by mail. Please don't expect these in a timely fashion...even my good intentions are subject to the fallout of a generally chaotic life...I trust that they will find you when you least expect it ;-)

Falling Back

2007-09-12T20:58:00.000-04:00

I'm having a hard time falling back...
into routine,
into lessons,
into September.

I'm tired in a way I usually feel in February...
burnt out,
overwhelmed,
exhausted.

I'm in a bit of a funk...
lots to do,
not sure where to start,
directionless.

I fear the spiralling...
downward,
days turning to weeks,
into a state of paralysis.

I'm trying hard to...
stay positive,
not let a bad day turn into two,
shift the energy swirling about me.

I want very much to enjoy...
the warmth of light and reflection,
that this season of thanksgiving has to offer.

What do you do when you feel yourself beginning to flounder?

Pass it on...;-)

2007-09-11T18:54:00.000-04:00

Jenica has left me a sweet little reminder ;-) in the comments of my last post...that if I don't pass it along, this lovely award will have reached the end of the line and well, in all my indecision about who to nominate...I hadn't really thought of that! I simply can't bear to be the individual to bring about the end of the Nice Matters Award, because...well because it matters!!!
So, I hereby nominate Mindy over at The Wish Studio with a Nice Matters Award! It won't take you too long to figure out why I picked this beautiful mama. Her blog is such a warm and inviting place...full of inspiring ideas and visited by so many creative souls. She is, without a doubt, one incredibly nice wishmama ;-)

Nice Really Does Matter

2007-09-07T11:29:00.000-04:00

Last week, this sweet mama wrote these very kind words and honoured me with a Nice Matters Award nomination. Since Jenica is one of the nicest people I've met since starting this blog, this means a great deal to me. Jenica has been there as my own personal cheerleader encouraging me to keep this little space going when I've been on the verge of giving it up...posting comments when I've wondered whether anyone out there was actually reading.
I think the idea is that I'm suppose to pass this nomination along, but I simply can't pick just one person. I've met so many wonderful women since starting out only a few months ago...so many wise, creative, amazingly kind women that have wrapped me up in a community of "nice". Each of them, inspiring me to be a better person in a world where nice really does matter. Where at the end of the day, if it's the only thing I've managed to be...nice is absolutely enough.
Have a wonderful weekend, my lovelies ;-)

Happy Labour Day!

2007-09-03T22:09:00.000-04:00

Hoping you and yours, had a wonderful end of summer weekend!!!

This past week, I've been...

2007-09-02T19:20:00.000-04:00

1. enjoying a wonderful week long visit with my mom...thanks for all your help, mommy ;-)
2. folding laundry
3. clearing out closets
4. sorting clothes
5. trips to Ikea
6. visiting friends i haven't seen in months...sharing in wonderful and exciting news!
7. playing at parks...swinging on swings
8. swimming
7. on a date with my love
8. out to the movies with my mom
9. listening to The Be Good Tanyas
10. falling horribly behind in returning emails
11. trying to ignore the fact that we have yet to register for fall programs, other than music
12. stocking the pantry
13. riding bikes
14. cleaning the garage
15. family basketball
16. preparing the school room
17. weeding the yard
18. barbecuing
19. eating lots of fresh, whole foods, popsicles and pies...yummy!!!
20. celebrating the end of soccer season
21. taking photographs

And generally enjoying this week of transition as we say goodbye to summer and fall back into September....ahhhh, life is good ;-)
Hope life is good with you and yours.

Photobooth Friday

2007-08-24T21:40:00.000-04:00

We celebrated a fun week of daily swim lessons with a trip to "the mall" and performed a little swim dance in the tiny photobooth. When the photos finally dropped I immediately offered up a re-do, seeing as the swimmers themselves were only just barely IN the photos. But, no. They wanted me to post this one, just the way it happened. Although, Kaiden did suggest that perhaps I might want to sit the next round out, if I couldn't help myself hogging all the limelight ;-)

Happy Summer Weekend to you and yours...I won't be able to say that for too much longer.

PS. Be warned: Using the mall as an amusement park may seem like a really good idea AT THE TIME, but trust me when I say...you will pay dearly for it on your next visit!!!
But you probably already saw that coming ;-)

Super Princess

2007-08-23T18:42:00.001-04:00

In my head I had written an entirely different post for today, but then I read this entry by the extraordinarily gifted Mandy over at Belle & Boo....
it reached out and grabbed my heart, and I haven't been able to think of anything else since.

Back Under My Wing

2007-08-21T21:54:00.000-04:00

My boy is home safe and sound...back in my care...back under my wing.
It's only been six days..but he is older...he is changed.
He has been Outward Bound and loved every minute of it ;-)
That's a good thing, right?

Photobooth Friday

2007-08-17T00:14:00.000-04:00

I can count the number of times I've been inside a photobooth on one hand. So it probably won't surprise you that I don't have any or any part of those photo strips to this day. It's thanks to this amazing woman, that I will never think of a photobooth in quite the same way again. Nowadays, I find myself looking for them everywhere! I find myself fascinated with the idea that when Kaiden and Maya are all grown up, they'll each have their own collection of little strips to look back on with nostalgia.
I wish I could say that this, my very first entry, was inspired by a photobooth we happened upon on the boardwalk (i admit i've seen the movie Beaches more than once ;-)...but it wasn't. We don't actually live anywhere near a boardwalk.
No, with Daddy off at work and Kaiden away at camp...I hauled my little girl off to the only place I knew with all certainty a photobooth existed...the mall.
To be honest, we got off to a bit of a rocky start. We needed money, so off we went in search of the nearest bank machine.
Then we need change.
Then we needed very specific change.
Then, of course, there was the puddle of baby spit up...

frame #1 - Maya's not too sure about this. Mommy (that's me) has just discovered that she is standing in a puddle of baby spit up...note: I DO NOT have a baby...and CLICK ;-)
frame #2 - Maya's figuring this photobooth thing out.
frame# 3 - Maya likes photobooths!
frame# 4 - Maya likes Mommy too!!!

Waiting...Waiting...Waiting...
We almost gave up.
And then that magical little strip dropped from the machine.
Success!
Photo strip in hand...the bottom of our shoes and the strap of my handbag covered in the spit up of an unknown infant, we celebrated while cruising the mall with zero intent to buy anything.
We rented a stroller from guest services, that was shaped like a car...yep, the ones covered in the germs of other children.
Maya rode all the rides...yep, the ones that used to cost 25 cents and now cost $1.
We ate candy from the little candy dispensers...yep, the ones filled with sugar and dyes.
You know, it could have been the boardwalk, but it wasn't.
It was the mall...yep, the one where I knew with all certainty, we would find a PHOTOBOOTH.

I heart Andrea!

2007-08-16T08:34:00.000-04:00

I'm finally getting in the game with Andrea over at Superhero Journal.
This week...Assignment #3: Photograph a heart that appears on your path.

I've been on the lookout. Yesterday, I spied these...

Maya's had this water bottle since last year. I've washed it countless times. Only yesterday did I see that those cute little ladybugs are also tiny little hearts ;-)

Letting Go

2007-08-14T13:10:00.000-04:00

My little guy left for camp this morning, as in away, as in sleepover, as in out of my care.
He has taken a huge part of my heart with him, and yet there is a weight to the part he has left behind that aches like nothing I have ever felt.
I am sad and scared and worried.

"Be Smart. Be Safe. Be Kind. Be Good." I said.
"You forgot, have fun!" he replied, with a big smile.
"Have fun," I said giving him a great big hug, "I love you."
"I love you too," he mouthed back.
Then he hopped on his bus and I smiled and waved until he disappeared out of sight...and then, I cried.

Self Portrait Challenge {Patterns::Swirlies}

2007-08-09T23:26:00.001-04:00

"GRATITUDE"

I took this photo for a friend.
I took it to express to her that even though there is great distance between us,
even though our friendship is just beginning,
I feel her light & warmth swirling around me.
I feel grateful, for her.

I took this photo for a friend and she suggested it might also belong here.